“Communication is the key” is a quote that is often repeated. In every single relationship communication is essential. Especially among . Communication between parent and child has always been important. Today, however, there is an even greater focus, especially in light of all the things children face at school and in everyday life. Without a parent knowing what is going on in the life and mind of their child, it is hard to really understand what they are going through.
Communication is the starting point of understanding. Children learn communication from their parents. Communication is not something that can be studied; it is something that people have to learn by doing. As a parent, good communication needs to be emphasized as they are talking and listening to the child. A child can tell when a parent is not really listening to them, and this can create a big problem in the relationship.
Children who feel misunderstood or feel like they aren’t being listened to will start to hold their feelings inside. This is the exact opposite of what good communication should be. Good communication is not merely talking; it is being with someone and relating that nothing else is more important at that time. So many times parents are doing three or four tasks while their child is trying to communicate something to them. They may not even look up from the recipe or newspaper they are trying to read, as the child is desperately trying to get their attention. This displays a lack of interest in the child or what they are trying to convey to the parent.
Lack of interest is one thing that will keep families from communicating. When someone doesn’t feel worthy enough of attention, they will stop sharing all together. When children stop sharing with their parents, they go to places and people that will show them attention. This can lead to trouble. The child may look for other avenues of acceptance, which could be negative influences. This could easily be avoided if only the parent had shown an interest in the child’s life.
Part of effective communication with your children is being aware of their whereabouts. A child who is unsupervised or who has a parent that doesn’t show an interest in her activities, is likely to shut down and internalize her feelings (Beers, 1987). Parents also need to be aware of what is going on in a child’s life. They need to talk with them and always know where they are going and what they are doing. Children, even though they may not show it, really thrive on acceptance from their parents. A parent who is involved in the child’s life will be more likely to influence that child.
When a child knows what standards that their parents have for them, they will more likely obey and want to please their parents. Respect for a child is also important. When listening to a child, make sure to respect what they are saying and really listen to them. Listening is sometimes hard when someone is saying something that the other person may not agree with. But a parent needs to just sit back and listen. And, in return, a parent who is aware of and respects their child’s feelings, will promote greater communication from the child.
Listening is something that more parents need to work on. When a child approaches their parent, they are probably wanting to talk about or ask something important to them. Even if the topic isn’t important to the parent or is something that is debatable between them, the child wants to be heard. Then when the child is done sharing and asks for input, the parent can tell them how they feel.
Nothing is more aggravating than a parent who always wants to tell the child how they should do things without even listening to what the child wants. So parents need to be sure to listen. Two-way interaction promotes confidence and security, and a secure child is one who will open up and communicate To gain respect from children, parents must also give in. Be firm in your household rules, but also give validity to their feelings. Encourage open and honest communication by holding family meetings where everyone has an equal chance of expressing himself.
In these meetings, let the children know that they are allowed to voice their opinions without anyone criticizing them. This will open the door to open communication and make the child feel more comfortable by expressing their opinions. Some tips for good communication between parents and children are: 1. When your children are talking, stop whatever else you ” re doing to listen to them. 2. Express interest in what they are saying without being intrusive.
3. Listen to your child’s viewpoint, even if it’s difficult to hear. 4. Let your child finish speaking before you respond.
5. Focus on your child’s feelings rather than your own during the conversation. 6. Control strong emotional responses when you disagree with your child’s point of view.
The guide tells parents, ‘Controlling this response is one of the biggest gifts you can give your child.’ (APA, Foxhall). Stressing good communication skills is very essential in the development of children. Especially in Christian homes. As a Christian, communication is very important.
It is the means that we have with our God. Prayer is our communication with God. Without that time of solitude and quiet time alone with God, there would not be a relationship. He also communicates to us through the bible, prayer, and even through other people. This is the same for all relationships. Without communication there is no relationship.
Communication is necessary for everything we do in life and we learn it while we are children. The communication skills learned by children from their families will stick with them throughout their lives. in order to have a society of good communicators, it needs to start in the home. Parents need to start communicating with their children and need to show them how to communicate with others. This is a skill that will be valued all throughout life and is something that shouldn’t be ignored. The skill of communication will be valued in every relationship throughout life.
It is a necessity. References Beers, V. G. (1987).
Parents and Children: Increasing Family Communication. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers. Cushman, D. P.
& Cahn, D. D. (1985). Communication in Interpersonal Relationships. Albany, NY: State University of New York Press.
Foxhall, K. (2000). Parent and Child Communication. Monitor on Psychology.
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II. Bristol PA: Brunner/Mazel. Author’s name omitted by request. (2001). Parent child communication: how to communicate effectively.
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